Here I am at Vienna Airport. Just got off the train from Brno in the Czech Republic. Walking to the British Airways counter to check in for my flight to London Heathrow. Suddenly, this happens:

So now I understand why luggage manufacturers are more than happy to give away lifetime guarantees with their products.

Me: Hello. Good day.
Shop assistant: Hello how can I help you?
Me: Well I bought a suitcase here last year and the handle has fallen off.
Assistant: Oh! I’m awfully sorry sir. Can I see it?
Me: Yes of course. Here is a picture.
Assistant: Oh dear. I’m awfully sorry. But don’t worry. That model has a lifetime guarantee. We can repair it for you. If you could just leave it with us.
Me: But I don’t have it.
Assistant: Well where could it be?
Me: Well the last time I we were in contact, I was jumping up and down on it in an attempt to crush it down to airport rubbish bin size. Had to buy new one you see. Couldn’t take the broken one with me.
Assistant: Oh. Well that gives us a problem doesn’t it?
Me: Yes it does.
Assistant: Because in order for it to be under guarantee, it has to exist.
Me: Oh yes. Silly me. Oh well. Thanks. Bye
Assistant: Bye

So in conclusion: Bugger!

Actually, it all reminds me of a YouTube clip that Mr Ken Wilson showed me last week: